I've only recently discovered the blog world, and I have been amazed at some of the things I have read on blogs. At first, I was a little surprised at all the details that some people felt comfortable enough to share. Let me be the first to say, I'm not a private person. I don't mind talking about things. In fact, I find it helpful to talk things over with friends and family. The only thing is, very few people can really understand what I'm going through or how I feel when it comes to infertility.
Then I discovered blogs where people are not only going through some of the same things, they are going through things far worse than me. I was in complete denial and did not want to accept that I was one of the infertile. I didn't want to share because that would mean I was one of them. I didn't want to know what BFN, TTC, or CM stood for. They say that accepting something is the first step in overcoming it, right?
So I'm sharing. With the 3 people that read this blog. Infertility sucks. There, I said it. I wish someone could just tell me what to do. If they did I would do it. But the Dr can't find anything wrong, so I can't fix it. I just have to wait. Patiently. Yeah right.
At the ripe old age of 34 my life started over. I'm passionate about cooking and trying new dishes. I dabble in scrapbooking and home decorating, and I have an impressive shoe collection. I love to travel to new places, but Honduras is my favorite. After trying to get and stay pregnant for almost 2 years, we are expecting our first baby May 9th, 5 days after my 38th birthday.
Chris is the most amazing man I've ever known. After "meeting" on match.com, we had our first date December 12, 2007. We were engaged by July and married on October 11, 2008. I would be lost without him. I never knew life could be this good!
Followers
TTC #2
April 2012 - Back to RE, Bloodwork is good, order drugs from overseas
May 2012 - Uncle Robert dies, have to be in Memphis when cycle starts, postponed until next month
June 2012 - Cycle day one - wrong - cyst on right ovary, put on BC to calm ovaries
July 2012 - Ovulated through the birth control, tyring old fashion way, did PIO and heparin shots, BFN
August 2012 - 150 U.I. Follistim 1x/day, only 1 egg, cancel Ganirelix, go ahead with IUI #1, 22 million sperm post wash, heparin & PIO injections - BFN
September 2012 - Skipping a month, couldn't get the drugs in time for the start of my cycle
October 2012 - 225 U.I. Follisitm 2x/day, Ganirelix, 3 mature follicles, IUI #2, 22 million sperm post wash, PIO and heparin injections - BFP
November 2nd - 1st beta, not good - 9
November 5th - 2nd beta - 3, chemical pregnancy
November 2012 - 2 weeks BC
December 2012 - 225 UI Follistim 2x/day, Ganirelix, 3 mature follicles, IUI #3, 18 million sperm post wash, doxycycline, PIO and heparin injections,
December 19th - BFN
January 2013- 2 weeks BC, 150 IU Bravelle 2x/day, Ganirelix, 2 mature follicles, IUI #4, 20 million sperm post wash, doxycycline, PIO and heparin injections - BFP!
January 29th - 1st beta - 42
January 31st - 2nd beta - 43, not good
February 4th - 3rd beta - 320! What? Maybe this is going to happen after all!
February 7th - 4th beta - 1196, RE says I have graduated to OB!
February 13th - 1 beautiful baby, saw the heartbeat, too early to hear it, measuring exactly 6 weeks
February 22nd - Heard heartbeat!!! Measuring perfectly at 7 weeks 3 days, Due date - 10/8/13
April 25th - It's another girl!!!!!
May 2012 - Uncle Robert dies, have to be in Memphis when cycle starts, postponed until next month
June 2012 - Cycle day one - wrong - cyst on right ovary, put on BC to calm ovaries
July 2012 - Ovulated through the birth control, tyring old fashion way, did PIO and heparin shots, BFN
August 2012 - 150 U.I. Follistim 1x/day, only 1 egg, cancel Ganirelix, go ahead with IUI #1, 22 million sperm post wash, heparin & PIO injections - BFN
September 2012 - Skipping a month, couldn't get the drugs in time for the start of my cycle
October 2012 - 225 U.I. Follisitm 2x/day, Ganirelix, 3 mature follicles, IUI #2, 22 million sperm post wash, PIO and heparin injections - BFP
November 2nd - 1st beta, not good - 9
November 5th - 2nd beta - 3, chemical pregnancy
November 2012 - 2 weeks BC
December 2012 - 225 UI Follistim 2x/day, Ganirelix, 3 mature follicles, IUI #3, 18 million sperm post wash, doxycycline, PIO and heparin injections,
December 19th - BFN
January 2013- 2 weeks BC, 150 IU Bravelle 2x/day, Ganirelix, 2 mature follicles, IUI #4, 20 million sperm post wash, doxycycline, PIO and heparin injections - BFP!
January 29th - 1st beta - 42
January 31st - 2nd beta - 43, not good
February 4th - 3rd beta - 320! What? Maybe this is going to happen after all!
February 7th - 4th beta - 1196, RE says I have graduated to OB!
February 13th - 1 beautiful baby, saw the heartbeat, too early to hear it, measuring exactly 6 weeks
February 22nd - Heard heartbeat!!! Measuring perfectly at 7 weeks 3 days, Due date - 10/8/13
April 25th - It's another girl!!!!!
TTC Journey to #1
October 2008 - Married, never started BC
December 18, 2008 - BFP, second month trying!!
January 2009 - Miscarriage 7w2d
February - April 2009 - trying old fashioned method, no luck
April 2009 - First RE appt. SA:163 million, excellent motility & morphology
May 2009 - HSG all clear, IUI #1 - BFN
June 2009 - 50 mg clomid, IUI #2 - BFN
July 2009 - 50 mg clomid, IUI #3 - BFN
August 2009 - Follow up with RE, says 1% chance of getting pregnant, recommends IVF
September 2009 - I don't believe Dr, decide to go to Chinese Medicine Dr & Acupuncturist
October 2009 - Appointment with CM Dr, orders an expensive, out of pocket hormone test. I go to get records from RE, surely he tested hormones, right? WRONG, never did any basic hormone tests
November 2009 - Appointment with new RE, testosterone level elevated, diagnosed PCOS, 1500 mg Metformin, Birth Control for 1 month
December 2009 - Femara & HCG trigger shot- BFN
January 2010- Femara, HCG trigger shot, scheduled IUI, think I'm ovulating before giving trigger shot, go for Progesterone test, already ovulating, IUI canceled
February 2010 - Femara, Injectibles, trigger, IUI #4 - BFP
March 5th, 2010 - 1st beta - 79
March 8th, 2010 - 2nd beta - 96
March 10th, 2010 - 3rd beta - 99, Diagnosed as chemical pregnancy, never start on my own
March 17th, 2010 - 4th beta - 113, U/S, nothing in uterus, Ectopic, Methotrexate Shot
April 2010 - Tested positive for heterozygous G20210A & MTHFR gene mutations, started baby aspirin and Folgard.
May 2010 - Laparoscopy - tiny bit of stage 1 endo removed from left ovary, drilled right ovary, no blockage found in tubes.
June 2010 - Mixed Cycle - Femara and Bravelle injectibles, trigger shot, 3 good follies, 46 million sperm post wash, IUI #5, Heparin injections - BFN
July 2010 - Femara + Bravell, trigger, 2 follies, 29 million sperm post wash, heparin injections, IUI #6 - BFP
July 27, 2010 - 1st Beta- 29
July 29, 2010 - 2nd Beta - 22 - Chemical Pregnancy
August 2010 - Bravelle, Ganirelix, Trigger, 29 millions sperm post wash, heparin & PIO injections, IUI #7 - BFP
August 30th- 1st Beta - 90
September 1st - 2nd Beta - 209
September 8th - 3rd beta- 4150
September 15th - 4th beta - 29,481
September 20th - 1st Ultrasound - 1 beautiful baby, measuring 6wks6days, heart beating away
November 23rd - It's a GIRL!!!
May 2, 2011 - Quinn Caroline born at 8:25 PM, 7 lbs 14 oz, 20.5 inches
December 18, 2008 - BFP, second month trying!!
January 2009 - Miscarriage 7w2d
February - April 2009 - trying old fashioned method, no luck
April 2009 - First RE appt. SA:163 million, excellent motility & morphology
May 2009 - HSG all clear, IUI #1 - BFN
June 2009 - 50 mg clomid, IUI #2 - BFN
July 2009 - 50 mg clomid, IUI #3 - BFN
August 2009 - Follow up with RE, says 1% chance of getting pregnant, recommends IVF
September 2009 - I don't believe Dr, decide to go to Chinese Medicine Dr & Acupuncturist
October 2009 - Appointment with CM Dr, orders an expensive, out of pocket hormone test. I go to get records from RE, surely he tested hormones, right? WRONG, never did any basic hormone tests
November 2009 - Appointment with new RE, testosterone level elevated, diagnosed PCOS, 1500 mg Metformin, Birth Control for 1 month
December 2009 - Femara & HCG trigger shot- BFN
January 2010- Femara, HCG trigger shot, scheduled IUI, think I'm ovulating before giving trigger shot, go for Progesterone test, already ovulating, IUI canceled
February 2010 - Femara, Injectibles, trigger, IUI #4 - BFP
March 5th, 2010 - 1st beta - 79
March 8th, 2010 - 2nd beta - 96
March 10th, 2010 - 3rd beta - 99, Diagnosed as chemical pregnancy, never start on my own
March 17th, 2010 - 4th beta - 113, U/S, nothing in uterus, Ectopic, Methotrexate Shot
April 2010 - Tested positive for heterozygous G20210A & MTHFR gene mutations, started baby aspirin and Folgard.
May 2010 - Laparoscopy - tiny bit of stage 1 endo removed from left ovary, drilled right ovary, no blockage found in tubes.
June 2010 - Mixed Cycle - Femara and Bravelle injectibles, trigger shot, 3 good follies, 46 million sperm post wash, IUI #5, Heparin injections - BFN
July 2010 - Femara + Bravell, trigger, 2 follies, 29 million sperm post wash, heparin injections, IUI #6 - BFP
July 27, 2010 - 1st Beta- 29
July 29, 2010 - 2nd Beta - 22 - Chemical Pregnancy
August 2010 - Bravelle, Ganirelix, Trigger, 29 millions sperm post wash, heparin & PIO injections, IUI #7 - BFP
August 30th- 1st Beta - 90
September 1st - 2nd Beta - 209
September 8th - 3rd beta- 4150
September 15th - 4th beta - 29,481
September 20th - 1st Ultrasound - 1 beautiful baby, measuring 6wks6days, heart beating away
November 23rd - It's a GIRL!!!
May 2, 2011 - Quinn Caroline born at 8:25 PM, 7 lbs 14 oz, 20.5 inches
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Copyright 2009 | Leave it to the Beavers
Well then you have completed the first step! I am sorry you are having to go through this, wish I could do something to fix it....you will be a great mom one day b/c you will have a baby, I just know it :)
Thrilled to see you have ablog Hope - it can be a healthy thing. Sharing is not always fun and none of us can truly know what you feel, but we can love you anyway. Thinking of you! - Michelle
A trial can turn into unexpected triumph. Pray that the Lord will open your womb and seek comfort and wisdom from His word.
Hey Hope! I am proud of you for this post! I have several friends who have suffered through years of trying and have suffered the horrible loss of miscarriages myself. You WILL be an amazing Mom. Let Go, and Let God!