Today was a very bittersweet day. We had our maternity pictures taken this morning and it turned out so well. We did some outdoor shots then we went to the cutest little ice cream shop that was painted all pink and green and took some really cute shots there. I can't wait to see the pics.

This afternoon though, was so so sad. After 14 years with me, my sweet black lab named Cheyenne had to go to doggy heaven. She's been going downhill for a while. She had some sort of mammary tumor that's huge and she's been struggling with walking for a while. Last week she just got to where she couldn't walk up the deck stairs at all. She wouldn't even try. A few weeks ago she actually feel down the stairs a couple of times and I was worried about her falling and breaking something. Her back right leg started swelling last week and I was afraid it might be broken, but then the left one did the same thing and she could hardly stand. The vet said edema like that means something is really wrong. She just had so many things wrong.

I really struggled with whether to do this or not. Everyone kept saying you'll know when it's time, but I don't buy that because I don't think anytime would have been the right time. It was super suprising at how quick it goes. It took less than 15 seconds from the time he did the injection. And then I balled while I hugged her and totally didn't notice my poor husband who teared up too I was so self involved.

Cheyenne's the black one on the right. She's focused on her ball in this picture. She loved to chase her ball and wouldn't even go get it anymore. She was such a sweet and wonderful dog and I know I'm going to miss her so much. I hope she went to doggy heaven where they have lakes to swim in, balls to fetch and feed all the doggies the ice cream she loved.

Well, my little belly is no longer little. It has really really popped. I've done very good weight wise, but when Chris took my pic today I was surprised at how big my belly looks. I've also gotten one stretch mark, which I'm greatly upset about. It's small and really low, but I'm worried about the growing I have left to do.

I only have 7 weeks left and while that doesn't seem like that long, it also kinda seems like forever. I'm getting to the anxious, antsy part where I'm just ready for her to be here and for this to be over. Don't get me wrong, I'm still an infertile and so very grateful to actually BE pregnant. But pregnancy is not fun like I thought it would be. I just can't relax and enjoy it, I worry about every little thing.

I've had some contractions, mostly false contractions, but starting this week I'll be monitored twice per week to make sure she looks good, fluid levels are good and if my cervix is changing. I love my Dr. I think this will help me be more calm. I'll be switching from the Lovenox to the Heparin in just a couple of weeks and I'm dreading the twice per day shots. More than that I'm worried that I won't get to have an epidural. I'm just not that in to a drug free birth and I'm getting really nervous about it.

The nursery is almost done and I promise to post pics soon. I ordered a decal for the wall off ETSY and it was a little too small. The artist offered to make it bigger for me so I'm just waiting to get that back from her so I can hang things on the walls and I need my Mom to iron the curtians (yes, I know I could do it, but I want her to do it! ha!) and everything is done in there.

Below is a pic of my ginormous belly!

Most days I can't believe I made it this far. In so many ways this still doesn't feel real to me. I feel like I'm playing make believe and just pretending to be pregnant. I worry because I don't feel very bonded to this baby. I'm still holding back because I don't want to be hurt. Of course I know you can't live your life if fear, but it's still present everyday. My best friend assures me that as soon as she's born I'll be bonded and I really hope she's right.

On a positive note, the nursery is almost done. It's come a long way in 2 weeks. All we need is one curtain panel, the rug, a table skirt and lamp. We need to hang things on the wall, but I'm waiting for a decal I ordered from ETSY. I think I'm going to post pics on Rate My Space. I know that could go south and I could get some nasty comments, but I love the way it's turned out.

I’m 29 weeks!!

Baby’s Size: Baby Beavers is the size of a butternut squash. At the ultrasound on Tuesday the Dr said she weights 2 lbs 7 oz.

Weight Gain/Loss: up 10 lbs (I feel like I'm starting to pack it on)

Maternity Clothes: Maternity jeans and a few tops. Still wearing several regular shirts, but big ones and wraps with tank tops.

Symptoms: Stuffy nose, hunger, restless leg, very very tired, and starting to get a tad uncomfortable

Foods I’m Loving: Peanut Butter, milk, Petro's baked potatoes, sushi

Foods I’m Hating: Meat if I have to see it raw or cook it, if someone else cooks, it's fine.

Sleep: Starting to have problems sleeping, restless legs make it hard to go to sleep, can't sleep on my stomach anymore and I have problems sleeping any other way.

Gender: It’s a GIRL!!!

What I Miss: Wine, sleeping on my stomach.

What I’m Looking Forward To: My showers the last weekend in March and the nursery being finished.

Milestones: 3rd Trimester!!!

Emotions: I feel kind of irritable, but trying not to take it out on anyone and I cry pretty often.

And just for fun, here's a look from the front:

Yes, those are her shoes. Mommy has a shoe problem.

These are tubs of clothes people have given me that I haven't gone through yet.

I ordered the bedding a while ago so I have that. I got a chandelier from PB, need to get Pops to install that for me. However I cut through the string of crystals when I was unwrapping it so I have to take it to a jewelry store to get it repaired. I ended up buying a dresser at a local furniture store and resisted the $1300 one I wanted from PB. I ordered a pistachio colored chair and ottoman off Target.com. It's currently sitting in a box in my garage where my car should go. I have the curtains, but they're too short, I need 96 inch, so I have to exchange those when we go back to Nashville, and I want to get a rug from PB. We painted this past weekend and the woodwork will get done some time this week. Whew! So we have a lot done, but it seems like there a lot of little things to make it a finished product.

I have my 27 week pictures, but I don't want to overwhelm everyone with a super long post so instead I will do 2 post in one week. I know, it's a miracle!!! But I promise to make it happen.

We decided to cloth diaper.

Up until about 3 weeks ago I was totally against it and wouldn't even consider it. When other people talked about it, I kinda laughed like they were crazy. I thought cloth diapering was the way my Mom did it, with the old fashioned ones that you fold and use the pins and plastic pants.

Then Lisa did a post about cloth diapering and I realized I knew nothing about the cool products available today. I started researching it and I mentioned it to my husband and he said he had always thought we should do it, but never said anything since I seemed so against it.




Within 3 days we had decided we're going to do it and I ordered some FuzziBunz, which are the cutest things ever and now I have little stacks of them piled all over the nursery. We bought the one size and then decided we also needed some XS for the newborn phase. I've also had a couple of people offer to give me some. There is a huge market for used diapers but I decided that wasn't for me. I can handle ones used by my friends, but not some stranger's baby. Just seems a bit weird to me.

There are so many reasons to cloth diaper and I like them all, but I'm not sure one in particular sold me.

- It DOES save money, if you don't spend a fortune buying all the cute things out there. Which I will probably not be able to do. It might save us money if we have a 2nd baby, but as an infertile, I don't like to count my "chicks" before they're hatched.

- 5% of all solid waste in the US is disposable diapers, so I like that it's green and I'm helping with the planet.

- Supposedly it is much better on baby's bottoms with diaper rash and such. Although I don't think anyone is totally immune to it, so I'm sure we'll experience it at some time.

- There are chemicals in disposable diapers that can cause all sorts of health problems, including infertility. I was cloth diapered and I'm still infertile, but why take chances.

- Tax Savings. Yes, I said tax savings. Apparently you can buy cloth diapers out of medical spending accounts. Who knew?

Mostly I think they're cute and it seems like a good idea, so we're going for it. My biggest concerns are that I will hate it after spending all this money on the diapers and that they'll smell. But I guess any diaper would smell so we'll just play it by ear. Chris had the brilliant idea that we would just store them in the washer and he would turn it on every night and dry them every morning. Not sure how that plan will work on laundry day, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

I'm planning on doing a 23 week post this week if I can get around to it.

Happy New Year to everyone!